Thursday, July 31, 2008

Graduate

Graduation day was absolutely amazing. The weather was gorgeously sunny, the family was there, uni friends were there. The ceremony was simple, traditionally english, & absolutely elegant. The day post-ceremony was a bit more rushed than I'd have liked & I missed photographs with a few friends, lecturers & the graduating law class. Overall though, the day was amazing, is everything I thought it would be & will be etched in memory always.

On the other hand, leaving Southampton was so very depressing. I know I'll go back to visit & all, but the notion that I'll never really live there again is taking quite a lot of getting used to. I love the student life there, but can't picture myself working and living there. I miss living amongst friends, generally independently, slightly vagabond-ishly, & miss the city a great deal. I'm still getting used to the notion of living in Singapore permanently.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Damage

As much as I want to be someone other than who I am most of the time,
Trying to decide whether to be myself & break another, or
Whether to not be myself and break myself
Is quite a leap of a choice.
And yet, there isn't so much a choice
Considering I've been broken for so very long a while
That it doensn't really matter if I break anymore.

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Old Shoes

The thing about old shoes is
They fit incredibly comfortably
But after a while, we forget
How they became the comfortable old shoes
To begin with.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Identify

I actually can't tell if I feel like I'm lost again or if I feel like I've found myself.

Sometimes I think I'm taking things as they come, & other times, I think I'm waiting for something to happen before I can make my decisions.

Most of the time though, I think I'm trying so hard to be myself that I don't know if I actually am myself or if I'm creating another version of myself.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Pleased

I'm rather intrigued as to how particular aspects of my life appear to be quite on track as I would like them to be & I find myself to be floundering & trying to find my way in the dark in other aspects.

I suppose for everything to be rather on track would be simply too good to be true. At least this way, I can tell I am living in reality.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Left Over

I cannot help it.
I want to run away back to England.
It's so much easier being the odd one out long distance.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Adaptation

So it's finally done. Over with. Completed.
I'm back home & the notion of "Home Forever" is dawning upon me more like a trailer truck thundering in my direction, than a beautiful warn sunrise.
Yes, there's a certain degree of over-exaggeration to that.
In any case, I'm home & in the process of settling in. My bags are half (un)packed & I'm coming to terms with the humidity, the taxis that never stop during rain storms & the Singlish.
By the way, is it just me or are there a variety of forms of Singlish now?
I am also still trying to find my ability to eat boiling hot & spicy food in the middle of the afternoon, when all I really want is a cold salad & iced coffee.

I've been doing incredibly touristy things since I got back, such as taking photographs of the Singapore Eye Flyer, taking the train in the wrong direction, flagging down the wrong bus & upon realising it, shaking my head vigorously with a mix of a sheepish & goofy smile on my face till the bus driver laughs & mentally picturing one train station when I'm actually referring to another. The truth is, even though I've applied for postgraduate programmes here, & am applying for jobs and pupillage placements here, I still feel like I'm only here for a while & I'm going back to crazy England soon. I guess taking things one day at a time is that best way to get used to all that I have to & settle back into a new version of normalcy once more.

For now, I think I need another long cool shower. Then I shall put away whatever clothes I've piled up on my bed & curl up with a good book till I fall asleep, which shouldn't be too long away. I've had a lovely day with friends & my feet are red with the tire of walking in heels.

"Adapt or perish, now as ever, is nature's inexorable imperative."
~ H.G.Wells ~